This Too Shall Pass

2010-12-19T13:43:00.001-08:00

Today is "Our Little Family - Chinese Christmas"!!!
What is that you ask?
Well, it means our little family, the four St. Micheal Berglund's, will eat Chinese and have our Christmas.
Do we know it's not Dec 25th or even Christmas Eve? Yes! We do!

We started this tradition on Carson's third Christmas when he was almost 3 years old.
We decided to have our family Christmas before we left on our holiday 'tour of the state' where we travel to both sides of our family (7 hours apart!). ...instead of bringing our gifts for Carson to one family or the other, or both, we thought it might be nice to do our own little Christmas! and honestly, we knew he would be getting so much at the other Christmas celebrations, that he wouldn't even remember what he got from us! It's been an awesome new tradition!

Why Chinese you ask? Well, the first year we decided to do this I was still shopping, wrapping, packing and there wasn't time (or energy) to buy groceries and make a meal - 'hey, let's just get Chinese take-out' was suggested and BAM a new tradition was born - and contrary to popular belief, this has nothing to do with the movie A Christmas Story, since I just watched that movie for the first time last year.

So, tonight, in about one hour, we will order Chinese food and gather at the dining room table with a gold table cloth, and my favorite purple plates. The boys will probably eat two bites and beg us to be done! Then we will give and receive. We give each of the boys 3 gifts - Jesus received 3 gifts, and we think that's cool! (confession: we have a little too much, so it's three boxes each, but they each have a 'bonus' gift attached!). The boys will give each other a gift and the boys will give us a gift.

Tonight's dessert is daddy's homemade ice cream (ice cream maker being a gift from Christmas past!)

Oh... and we often get asked if Santa comes to Our Little Family - Chinese Christmas and the answer is no! Santa comes on Christmas eve, everybody knows that!! Wherever my boys are on Christmas morning (this year we will be in Grand Rapids) they will wake up to find what Santa brought them.

Happy Chinese Christmas everyone!

Fabulous Friday Five!

2010-11-19T08:19:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my new friend Debbie for this wonderful idea!!!

Each Friday ask yourself.... What made this week FABULOUS?

1. MY BOYS!
I'm BLESSED to share my everyday with three gentlemen!
My Earl, My Carson and My Dayne.
There are moments of the day when I want to scream (ok, I do scream!) when they are frustrating me, but then they do, and say the sweetest things that makes my heart melt! This too shall pass - the challenges and the joys - so enjoy it all while it's here! You can't enjoy the roses if you aren't willing to put up with the rain! Some parts of the day I feel the rain (challenges) will never end, but then the rose blooms (joys) and I hope I take the time to 'stop and smell the roses'

2. BUNCO!
Yes, I do love to play Bunco - that is no secret! Why you ask? 1. It's mindless - you just pick up three dice and roll them. 2. You can't do anything to train to get better - it is just what it is! 3. Every month for the past 5 years I get to go play, eat, drink and laugh with great girlfriends!
And contrary to popular belief - I am not competitive - I just like to play and it's exciting to yell BUNCO! (but taking home some cash now and then is fun too!)

3. TASTEFULLY SIMPLE
I've been a consultant for 8 years! My business has been pretty much 'back burner' for awhile now, but I love being a part of this company, so I plan to always be a part of it. This week I did a vendor show at a business in Bloomington - I had 2 sales. :( But that is ok - because of that event I got my product and supplies ready for the BIG craft show I'll do tomorrow. That to me is a blessing because I am an UBER procrastinator and would be mad crazy today if I hadn't done the vendor fair on Monday! Two sales was not what I hoped for, but I think I gained some sanity, and that is priceless!

4. MY PARENTS
Yesterday, November 18th, was the day that my parents were married 49 years ago. My dad died in 2003, three months after celebrating their 41st anniversary. I wish they would have had more years together. I miss my dad. I miss him so much for my mom. But I'm lucky my mom and dad 'did that gross thing 5 times!' (yes, just 5 times - Jeff, Scott, Mike, Michelle, Greg!). Because two people fell in love there were many more to come!

5. SAFE ARRIVAL
My brother Greg returned to his home in Las Vegas this week. He was home since the beginning of October - I got to see him twice, wish it could have been more, but it felt good to know he was at 'home'. I'm thankful that his drive back was safe. I know he misses Minnesota - and yet, enjoys LV too. He was the little brother that drove me nuts as a kid - he spit a lugie in my hair once, gross - but I love him and I'm glad he made it home safe. Now Greg, drive careful on those crazy Las Vegas freeways!

Have a FABULOUS FRIDAY!

Romeo, Romeo, My Carson is a Romeo!

2010-11-18T15:31:00.000-08:00

Sitting at the table eating noodles....
Carson says to Claire (his best buddy on the block, our neighbor girl):
"One of us has to say how we feel about each other"

Claire is silenced by confusion - or what she knows he means and doesn't want to talk about!

I say:
"like Carson loves Claire?"

Carson's eyes get big and he walks over and I think he is going to strangle me - but hugs me and says
"yep Claire, my mom said how I feel"

Claire is silenced by shock - or wants to pretend she did not hear that.

Carson says "We had to say it."
Claire: "Why?"
Carson: "Because we are best friends"

After a brief moment to gather her thoughts...
Claire: "Ok then, I like you. You are a good friend... and Dayne is weird"
(way to use of laughter to cut the tension Claire!)

Then my little Romeo goes on to say...

"Sometimes I think of running through a field of dandylions that are all white and we are all happy and stuff and then a pink heart pops up out of nowhere and I think of love dreams when I do that"

Claire (makes no comment)

UGH! I think my kid just got his first "I like you, but just as a friend" love rejection.

But, I'm not sure he even noticed!

Did I mention she is an older woman - a 4th grader!

I'm not ready for broken hearts - not from my 3rd grader!

New Room

2010-11-14T19:49:00.000-08:00

It's night two of boys in separate rooms! Am I ready for this?!

My boys have shared a room for the past 2 years 8 months! Since the day Dayne came home. That is the way Carson wanted it. He was 6 when Dayne was born and he wasn't ready to move downstairs - I wasn't ready to have him on a different floor either, so it was good all the way around!

Carson could sleep through Dayne's infant cries and now toddler screams! We go in to settle Dayne and Carson is out like a light! So, there has not been a push to move him out for lack of sleep - though, there have been a few nights Carson started out on the living room couch because he couldn't get to sleep with chattering Dayne.

Last summer we bought bunk beds with the idea that Carson would move up to the top and Dayne would move into the bottom bed, but Carson doesn't want to go up top, and Dayne was comfy in this crib (with the tent!)

This summer we began discussing that even if Carson didn't want to sleep downstairs he needed to have his own space. A room where he can keep his stuff and a place for him to go and be alone. To make this happen Earl had to give up his office and I had to let him move into mine! Oh boy!

This weekend we made the move. It's a mess as we move things from one place to another and try to figure it all out, but there is a room with a bed for Carson. We need to get new bedding and then paint and make it his room - but that didn't stop him - he slept in there last night, and was ready tonight to sleep down there again! Ugh! My boy is growing up, and doesn't need to have the wall between us like he did in the past! He's on another level... I will blink and he will be moving to his dorm room!

In other news... Dayne wanted to sleep in Carson's bed... he started out fine, then I heard him calling for me... he climbed INTO his crib and wanted to be covered up! That's my baby!

How much would that be?

2010-10-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

I need to delegate....make other people do things I don't want to do! But seriously, chores are a good thing - they teach responsibility and foster a sense of belonging - even if your kids don't like it, helping at home makes them feel good deep down inside - right?!

So, a couple of weeks ago I announced to Carson that his new and ongoing chore is to unload the dishwasher - he's done it several times before - but this would now be his job, responsibility, chore. His reply 'Huh?' The first few times there were lots of questions like "where does this go?" and "where does this go?" and of course "where does this go?". Yes, I could have done it faster and with fewer questions - but that is what leads to lazy kids that feel entitled to have everything done for them. If they can physically, and safely do the task, than they should... right?

If you read my last post, you know I have an issue with follow through (surprised to see me back here blogging so soon aren't you?)... so in an attempt to try and reform my sporadic ways, I said to Carson "I have something to tell you, the dishwasher needs to be unloaded" his reply "Is that really what you have to tell me?" Yep! He asked when was the last time he unloaded it - he's on to my lack of follow through too! Doesn't matter babe, it's ready for you now! Then I asked him "Don't you think that everyone in the house should help with chores, or should I charge you a fee for the things I do?" He stopped, thought a bit and asked "Before I answer, what would the fee be?"

That's my Carson - the thinker!
He unloaded the dishwasher!

Follow Through

2010-10-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

I have a problem with follow through.

I have some great ideas - fun things I'd like to do, serious things I should do, crazy things I probably shouldn't do! Some of these things happen, come to completation, some will remain as a 'should-of' that I will think back on and let go or regret.

Take this blog for instance. When I started this, it wasn't really supposed to be a continuous place to dump my thoughts. It started as a place to post our adoption profile so when people asked to see it I could direct them here to have a look (pretty proud of that profile by the way).

So... why am I here?
I've gone back to work as a Parent Educator (I know, right!). I worked through last school year and I'm back for this school year. I get to meet with about 70 parents each week and talk about our wonderful little blessings! One of the topics I did last year was 'capturing memories' and I found and shared and heard great ideas for ways to keep the memories as our children grow.

I wanted to start keeping a 'journal' of the fun things my boys say and do. I started with a note book writing by hand - guess how long that lasted - there might be 3 entries for each of my sons - gotta keep it fair as I envision them finding these in the future and keeping tally of who I wrote about more. FOLLOW THROUGH - NOT!!

Then I thought - I'm always on my lap top - I will just type a letter in 'word' to my boys at least once a week. I did that in July - I think I did 2. FOLLOW THROUGH - NOT!!

I do post on Facebook - and by the way, I love when people comment about me being on Facebook 'all the time' and I just have to say the only way you would know if I'm on Facebook is if you are too! Enough said on that. But, even though I post on fb I need a place to write more - collect stories.

So, here we go. My attempt to journal the fun things my boys say and do! Why? 1. Because they are so darn cute! 2. Because I love reading back on what I have written and Carson loves hearing the stories when he was little, and someday Dayne will too and 3. Because 'This Too Shall Pass' - these wonderful and precious moments that happen as life passes by. I want to remember these days... the good and the bad, This Too Shall Pass.

FOLLOW THROUGH? I sure hope so!

Is Our Family Complete?

2009-02-16T14:57:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm..... is our family complete? It's a question that creeps into my mind every now and then. Nobody really seems to ask us that question. I'm sure they assume that since it took us 11 years to get two kids we are probably satisfied - and we are. The fact that we have 2 boys would be the question that most people would wonder - are you going for a girl?!

The answer to that question is NO. We are note going for a girl - but a better question would be - Is Our Family Complete? I'm not sure that it is. Boy or Girl I'm not sure we are done. But what I do know is that I'm not in contact with my case worker at the adoption agency and I'm not looking to re-do our homestudy, build a new family profile book and wait for the phone to ring - been there, done that, got 2 babies thank you very much!

BUT - don't you love that word - But, I'm not sure that our family is complete! I'm open to more. I think WE are open to more.

That being said you are wondering - Michelle, just how are you going to add to your family with out getting back on the adoption superhighway? Well, I was thinking "it" it being "something" might just happen! I've always joked that the one good moving sperm is going to make his grand venture just in time to find my old drying up egg that still has a little kick in left in her and then, just as I'm about to go through "the change" BAM! Baby! I don't hope or wish for that to happen, I'm very, very fine and content that I've never been pregnant and mourned that loss years and years ago, but I'm open and willing if the miracle did happen!

Sometimes I think a situation might just find it's way to us - like the stork dropping a baby in a basket on our door step. If something like that should happen we are ready with open arms.

So, if you see a stork flying around it's ok to send them our way.

10 Little Toes

2009-01-12T15:06:00.000-08:00

I haven't used this blog to blog much. I've used it as a place to post our journey of adoption. A place to post our profile book for those who are in that stage of adoption and are looking for ideas. And my last post was to announce the arrival of our sweet baby boy - Dayne J Thomas who arrive in March 2008.

So why am I back to blog here? Not sure...we do have a family website, I'm on Facebook and My Space (but never go there), I chat online with ladies who have become my dear friends as we all share an adoption link - but usually talk about so much more. So why here?

Again - not real sure. Except that not many people know about this blog so it's kinda like a diary, my personal journal!

On to the topic that brought me here....

10 Little Toes!

My sweet baby Dayne has the sweetest little toes on his feet!

I mean totally sweet!

When he sits in the highchair he swings his legs and crosses his little feet and it makes my heart jump a beat!

Another reason I think I love his feet is because they remind me of his birth mom and I love that!

The very first time we met Carrie was the day after she delivered Dayne.

As she walked into the hospital room we were waiting in across from her room while holding the bundle that would be the son we would both love forever I noticed she was barefoot. Why did I notice? What difference did it make? It didn't matter in the least, but I did notice. It was March and it was cold outside with a snow storm on the way and I worried that maybe her feet were cold, but she seemed fine.

Since that day when I admire the feet and baby toes of my little gift I think of his first mom and know that he is such a part of her. He has her feet! And though he doesn't mind socks and soft shoes, he likes to be barefoot too!

Meet Dayne

2008-05-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

Meet our new baby son

Dayne J Thomas

born March 19, 2008

6 pounds 6 ounces

19 1/2 inches long

New & Improved Adoption Profile

2008-02-19T10:23:00.000-08:00

Adoption Profile Book

2008-02-19T09:35:00.000-08:00

For the past 5 months I've been re-doing our Adoption Profile book. Actually for 4.5 months I've been avoiding it (it's a control thing) and then a conversation with our case worker at the agency lit a fire under me to GET IT DONE! Our original profile need some "tweaking" and the way I put our book together didn't allow for simply removing a page (they were laminated together!) so if I was going to re-print I was going to re-write, and if I was going to re-write I was going to re-format and if I was going to re-formate well, you get the picture (anyone thinking of a certain mouse and cookie story at this point). So, I took words and pictures I liked from our original profile and cut out about 85% of the rest and this is what we are now presenting to Meet the Berglund's.

SERIOUSLY!

2008-01-15T19:17:00.000-08:00

So, as you can see I have not been here to blog since July. Not that anyone missed me, no one knows this blogs exists! But here I am, back to blog and I am shocked at the date. I started this blog EXACTLY one year ago on January 15, 2007 and now it is January 15, 2008 and believe it or not we are STILL waiting for our new baby.

We were shown last week and found out on Monday that it's NOT US....AGAIN.
I was crushed and sad. Had the good and ugly cry and began the speculation of why. Why?
We didn't even make it into the final four cut for this showing. Really it's not about "this" situation, it's the fact that the showings of our profile are few and far between.

We were shown once in 2006, then in May of 2007, and twice in August 2007. This is the first showing in 4 months. That's a long dry spell so the disappointment of not being chosen just stings a little bit more.

I haven't been satisified with our profile since I turned it in 15+ months ago. We had a meeting with our case worker in October to discuss ways to improve our profile. We are still wondering how to do that, how to change it without loosing "us". Today I contacted a gal that works on reworking adoption profiles. I'm waiting to hear back on what her services provide.

Bottom line...I need to feel I'm doing more to make this happen. I don't know how to pray about it, I don't know how to release it, I don't know how not to think about it!

But....this too shall pass!

8 Months+

2007-07-08T19:16:00.001-07:00

So, I started this blog, but didn't continue...much like me. I get excited, but than the fun and excitement fizzles and than I have to decide if I should quit or continue.
As far as adoption goes I'm all in. There was a post on one of the adoption sites I'm on asking when do you know it's time to give up and quit the adoption journey. I feel my answer is never. I guess I feel that if are going to trust God to bring us to this, he is going to bring us through this! Adoption is how we are going to grow our family. What may change is the choices we have made along the way. We chose the agency, we chose the race and age of child we are waiting for. Those things may change in the future, but what will not change (I don't think) is our desire for another child. A member of this family. So, it's been 8 months and soon it will be a year and we will have to up date our homestudy. We will because maybe God's timeline is one year and one day. I don't know, but I trust He does!

First Blog

2007-01-15T10:42:00.000-08:00

Wow, here it is my first blog entry.

I thought I would start this blog to release some feelings as we wait for our second child through adoption.

As of today, Monday January 15th we have been waiting 2 months, 3 weeks, 6 days.

Well, that's officially waiting...meaning the day we turned in our family profile book and were available to be shown to expecting parents considering adoption for their child.

We've really been waiting or at least on this journey for much longer. Check out the adoption timeline for specifics.

Today I'm feeling neutral, or I like to call it at peace. My constant prayer is for peace and patience. Let go and let God! But that doesn't mean I don't think about the baby, wonder when it will happen. You know what it feels like? A Jack-in-the-box. Remember that childhood toy? Carson hates them! But any way, sometimes this adoption journey feels like I'm turning the crank on a jack-in-the-box and and I don't know when or what turn will pop the box open and reveal our baby! It's all a mystery!